Grief and the Soul's Journey

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Here's a question I'm often asked:

When a loved one passes, can our feelings of grief and loss hold them to us or impede their journey in any way?

To the best of my knowledge and experience, the simple answer is no. Your feelings cannot alter the course of another Soul's eternal path. If that were possible, wouldn't they still be alive, right in your arms where you want them? 

And if it were possible, wouldn't we also change the Soul's journey for loved ones who make destructive choices while here on earth? Anyone who has had a family member fall into substance addiction or abusive behavior has had to learn the very difficult art of letting go. It requires acceptance that we cannot control anyone's journey but our own. And so it is with our loved ones in Spirit.

Feelings of grief and despair are completely normal after a loved one dies. While we are experiencing these emotions, they feel foreign, terrible, unwanted, and we'd give nearly anything to rid ourselves of the pain. But none of those feelings can change the fact that grief is the normal reaction to the losing someone we love. Coping with those feelings as they arise on a day-to-day basis is difficult; accepting that your feelings are natural can help.

You are not alone in your sorrow. Grieving is a part of loving. The pain of loss is felt by all of humanity. 

Yes, we feel the loss deeply. Yet our loved ones who have passed into Spirit are eternally connected to us through the bonds of love. No matter how many seasons pass, that bond always remains. Even if you recover. Even if you move on. Even if you find love with someone else. Even if you have another child. We are bound to time as a form of measurement here on the earthly plane, yet, in the eternal realm, our loved ones do not suffer from the same measurements. Our earthly lives are but a chapter in the whole story, and our loved ones in Spirit are able to observe and be aware of us from their dimension. The pain of separation we experience here on earth, is not their experience. 

It's okay to feel your grief, as lousy as it is. Every wrenching moment of it is justified by your love. But you must not give up hope; grief, like all things, changes over time. Often it is transformed into a new perspective, a goal, or a sense of purpose. In fact, in time, many people are able to see and share the unexpected gifts loss has brought to them, such as:

  • deeper compassion
  • a closeness to nature
  • a desire to be of service
  • tolerance for human differences
  • the ability to let go of petty grievances 

These gifts are the phoenix rising from the ashes of our loss. Clouded by our sadness, they can sometimes go unnoticed. But if we are open to the possibility that we can learn from our loss, that we can create good from our sorrow, we will come to see that our grief and our continuing connection to Spirit can inspire us to breathe light and life into places of the heart we thought were gone forever. Maybe it's your Soul's journey, maybe it's the journey of your loved ones in Spirit, and maybe it's your shared path. In truth, in the midst of your loss, know that there is no greater legacy you could leave for those you are bonded to through eternity. 

I hope you'll join me for an intimate evening of Spirit communication and messages. Click to my "Events" page to see all the cities.

©Mollie Morning Star 2014  Short excerpts of this article may be shared on the internet provided a live link back to this original source is used. Reproduction in print is prohibited.