Many of you can relate to the difficultly of celebrating a major life event without someone you dearly love present in the physical body. This past weekend I had the wonderful fortune of attending my brother's wedding in Atlanta, Georgia. Trevor and his fiancée, Guneeta, have been together nearly 11 years. They have seen a lot of ups and downs over the years, including the recent loss of Guneeta's dear father. 

One of the questions I am often asked is, "How can I tell if my loved one is around me?" The truth is, it is possible for the average person to tap into this knowledge, but it's a very subtle thing, and there aren't many resources you can access for reliable information. Yet one thing is for certain: watching TV will not help. 

When we are restructuring our lives after a serious loss, we often find ourselves sitting alone wondering what to do next.  Emotional pain coupled with free time often makes basic life choices difficult Should I go take a nap? Or have something to eat? Should I return a phone call?  The simplest functions become mind-boggling choices. But there is a way out of the fog. It begins with a promise. 

The human condition fascinates me, and nowhere can you get a more interesting perspective on it than from someone who has "lived to tell about it." Naturally, I am talking about the so-called dead. Last week in my readings, many messages seemed to be about working through the things we do "wrong."

The hot topic: Where Does Fate End and Creation Begin? 

As I see it, there are situations in life, horrible occurrences like the death of a child, that I will never be able to comprehend. At times, I have to surrender to the knowledge that some things are fated to happen. There is a higher divine order that I do not fully understand. At the same time, I believe fervently that we are the creators of our lives. We are the artists who apply color and form to the canvas; the authors who write the lines; the directors who choose the actors. 

I admit: my job has taken a toll on my level of tolerance for going to bed angry; screaming about the messes that have been made; delaying apologies, even if I wasn't wrong. These days I'm owning my stuff, all of it, every situation I created. I can't let you leave without saying, "I love you." anymore. Yes, I want one more hug, maybe two. Yes, I cry when you turn the corner and are out of sight. I can no longer tolerate stuffing my feelings. No, I can't sit back and be an observer anymore. All of these are occupational hazards. Every single day, I consult with person after person who is trying to cope with the worst day of his or her life.

Think for a moment about your best friend and all the reasons you cherish him or her. Now, imagine that person suffering. What would you do to alleviate their pain? Pretty much anything in your power, right? What about your neighbor? To what lengths would you be willing to go to alleviate their suffering? How about a complete stranger? What action would you take on their behalf? And finally, think of a person who has harmed you: are you willing to help them discover happiness?

A few weeks ago I was enjoying a backyard BBQ with a group of close friends who are planning a cross-country move in the near future. One of the hardest aspects of moving is dealing with all the STUFF we accumulate. You know: the basement, the attic, the garage, the junk drawer. As we discussed what to do about their grown children's belongings that remain stashed away I said, "Memories belong in your head, not the basement." True, true...I suppose that fresh Wisconsin air was inspiring me. 

Creativity and expression can be a real game changer after a loss. Do you love the singer Adele? (who doesn't!?) It's well know that her hit album 21, was a result of channeling her depression and heartbreak into her music. I've met amazing bereaved parents and siblings who have turned their grief into heartwarming, and sometimes best-selling, books. Painting, drawing, sewing...any type of active creativity can be an inspiring way to change the energy of loss into one of reward. As long as it's got Soul, you are on the right track!

Lately I find myself in situations where the people around me are not being true to themselves. It's a curious thing, as these are dear friends whom I love, and of course...the truth eventually comes out. It often takes a bit of coaxing, and assurance that their truth is safe with me. 

One is a dear friend and a bereaved mother. I've always encouraged her to be whatever/whomever she is in any particular moment...

The Universe has been "speaking" to me for a few months saying: SLOW DOWN.

A car accident.

A missed flight.

A bad fall. 

I hear you, Cosmos. I'm at a standstill. Listening intently.

One of the most confounding questions I am asked to explain is, "How does time work on the spiritual plane?" Last week, my great friend and respected afterlife author, Mark Ireland, sent me a captivating email regarding a prediction made during a connection I facilitated in January. Mark and his wife Susie are cherished friends of mine...

I'm often asked how I live a "normal" life with my ability. First of all, I have never claimed to be normal...secondly, I am alive. I do not stay connected like a firewire to heaven 24/7. That would be devastatingly draining. My garden is a big part of the answer. It helps me stay grounded, and in addition to that, caring for and nurturing plant life reminds me that everything moves in cycles. And, in truth, we are all like seeds. We are driven by a deep thirst for love...

Last week, I found myself on an early morning flight home on my birthday, crammed in the middle seat with my laptop, trying to catch up on emails. As I sat there tapping away at the keyboard, focusing, I became aware of a deep, loud male voice from the row behind me when my ear caught the word, "birthday."  

"Tomorrow is my wife's 51st birthday."

"This week is really hard, Mother's Day is Sunday."

"She got to see her daughter married...

When your child lives in Heaven, your commitment as a parent is a million times harder to fulfill. The "work" is never done! If you think it's bad to deal with a mountain of laundry, dirty dishes and endless school meetings, I can assure you, dealing with the ABSENCE of these privileges is, literally, a million times harder. Talk about becoming a pillar of strength that holds the family together....yes, this is the path of the bereaved parent. Endless work, mostly on yourself. 

"It's like she's gone into an amazing restaurant and ordered without looking at the menu based only on what she's eaten in the past," said the man in Spirit. "She's already decided what she'll have for her future, but she doesn't realize the choices are more incredible than she can imagine."

How can science help us deal with grief, one of life's most challenging emotions? Let's take a look at energy. It is understood that energy can be converted or transferred in its form, but not created or destroyed.  Love is an energy, and though we can't necessarily list it as kinetic...

It is an extraordinary gift to receive wisdom that enables us to create changes in our earth-based existence BEFORE we greet our own mortality face-to-face. The greatest instigators for change that I have experienced, at least twice in my life, were the moments of complete breakdown and the surrender to the life-flow...

Nearly every bereaved person I have ever met has expressed to me a deep sense of of feeling incomplete after the passing of a cherished love one. The relationship on the physical plane of existence created a sense of wholeness, and when that relationship transitioned into the spiritual plane, suddenly, their identity had been amputated.

Recalibrating life is often a painful process, particularly when the changes are needed due to circumstances we didn't choose. How can we arrange the hours and days that we used to devote to the care of a loved one passed? How can we find a new...